To be tied and burned at the stake

Well, at first I had a positive reaction from the "Paperless Claaroom" idea, but my excitement was short lived. FIRE. FIRE. FIRE. Alarms were going off all day today. I now regret even suggesting the idea. Two other group members and I debated about it most of the day on the discussion board, and I ended up losing my temper, not at their objections or considerations to the project, but at how they were talking to me. We haven't held a vote, but I consider it a void proposition for the group at this point. I did ask one of the group members, that is the most even-tempered and a thoughtful supervisor, if I could nominate her for group leader--she probably does not want my endorsement at this point. It would be like the Osama Bin Laden endorsing Hillary Clinton. Anyway, one group member went to our professor and pleaded her case. Dr. A said that she thought we could both do as we pleased as our ideas fit under the same umbrella of "virtual labs." So, I can proceed as I wish, and the others can proceed as they wish.

I still feel like I have again separated myself from the group, and I am just really confused at how to navigate the people and personalities of the group. I am struggling with how to get along in this situation. I know that I have very high expectations of myself and others, and that frustrates people. I know that I am hyper-sensitive to other people's emotional and mental states...I tend to absorb people's energy like a sponge and react on a personal level to it all.

I am going to have to practice stepping back, not always being the one to ask questions. I just single myself out by doing that. A physicist friend once told me that he never asked questions in High School. He said it was not that he didn't want to discuss, explore, inquire; but, he was told by his classmates to be quiet and don't make things "more complicated" than they have to be. I feel like this. I have to learn to just keep my inspiration to myself and only share it with those who can dialogue about it without feeling threatened. Tomorrow, I must forward. I am going to start writing my Educational Philosophy and stay off of WebCT for awhile. I need a psychological break.

Until next time...